Posted 1 year, 6 months ago at 3:54 AM. 0 comments
2 weeks ago I ended up in Urgent Care for chest pain and they diagnosed me with GERD and did 2 hours worth of tests to make sure I didn’t have anything else. They gave me medication that I have to take every morning a half hour before I eat anything and sent me home with a note not to work for the next couple days (which I didn’t mind).
The next day I get a call from the doctor saying I have hypothyroidism. I was too sleepy at the time to really look into it and went back to sleep after she sent my prescription to my Walgreen’s. 2 days later, I picked up my medication for my 2 new diagnoses and after coming home and trying out the Kinect Marshall had bought, I get another call from the doctor. She tells me I don’t have hypothyroidism, I have a brain tumor and that I need to see a specialist.
Panic sets in for the next 6 days while I wait for the appointment. Am I going to die? Is it malignant? Is it benign? Even if it is benign I still have to deal with brain surgery and THAT could go wrong. How do I tell my mom if it is a tumor? (I didn’t tell her for fear of making her stress out even more than I was) Everything I was worried about dropped down to the bottom of my priority list. I didn’t care about the house, my job, money. I started treating myself, thinking I might have a limited time left, and I actually started changing for the better, too. I became a lot more accepting of everyone and just wanted the whole world to be happy. I felt a lot less stressed about things that would normally bother me, and I was more patient. (I’d like to say that this all has stayed with me, but it’s my PMS week, so I’ll find out next week.)
Anyways, fast forward to the appointment (today), and at this point I am expecting a brain tumor, and just crossing my fingers that it’s benign. I can deal with benign, I can’t wrap my mind around malignant. The first thing she asks about is my stomach, and the whole GERD situation. I had completely forgotten about the GERD, besides taking my meds every morning. I said I didn’t notice anything and told her I was too focused on what the previous doctor had said about me probably having a brain tumor. After about 20 minutes of going back and forth with symptoms and questions, she finally got the bloodwork faxed over from the urgent care clinic (I had called them already a week before to fax them over, dangit), and said after a glance at it that I don’t have a brain tumor. I nearly cried with happiness right then, but I waited until after the appointment.
The doctor started pinpointing my symptoms and connected them back to the second diagnosis: hypothyroidism. I could DEFINITELY handle that. Marshall and I were both relieved, and so was my mom (called her after the appointment and filled her in on the brain tumor scare) and Amanda D(who I had confided in). Now I just get to take some meds for it and get an ultrasound to confirm my thyroid is enlarged and to take a look at my gallbladder.
Lesson learned: Don’t go to the doctor with only one or two things going wrong abnormally. They’ll tell you it’s normal (mentioned to multiple doctors that I have a weak stomach in the morning and have chest pain every now and then). Go in with multiple things wrong and they’ll start looking at it more seriously. (Severe chest pain, dry skin, a bit of depression, abdominal pain, severe headaches, indigestion, nausea all led them to finally start looking at me more closely.)
I’ll be taking 2 kinds of medication for the rest of my life, but I don’t care! I don’t have a brain tumor! Yippee!!
Now that I’m back to normal, what was it I worried about again before this whole thing? I don’t even know haha.
Posted 1 year, 7 months ago at 6:58 AM. 0 comments
I think it’s weird that I don’t seem to find any significant passion for books, movies, or activities. I wouldn’t spend money on concert tickets (I get bored at a concert), I wouldn’t go to anything Twilight or Harry Potter related (there is a HP thing opening up in the Pacific Science Center between October 21st through the end of the month - not sure on end date), and I probably wouldn’t go to any video game convention. Maybe it’s that I like to stay away from people who are so passionate about the things I like, because they ruin it for me (ie: Twilight series, went to opening night of Breaking Dawn release and all the ANNOYING people there definitely made me appreciate the books so much less). I even got annoyed at a lot of Losties near the end of the last season who were just so fanatic about it online that I lost (har har) a bit of interest. Or maybe my passion for it (and for my other interests) ran its course and I just started to stray away from it. I seem to lose interest in something when I feel like I’ve learned everything I can from it. Right now, I’m having a thing for interior decorating (yes, sounds pathetic when I say it, which makes me think it won’t last) and UW Husky football (not basketball, it takes me a few games to really get into the sport, along with Marshall’s intensity). At least, those are the two activities I have seemed to really be passionate about for more than a year. Do other people fall out of their passions or do they just stick to them for the rest of their life?
Posted 1 year, 8 months ago at 5:48 PM. 0 comments
I just finished the campaign (on Normal), and what an amazing game! I believe it trumps the first, even though it’s only the Terrain campaign. The story continued with sophistication and an addicting plot. I can’t wait for the next campaigns to see where they will take the story! The new units, so far as I’ve seen in the campaign, are great. I think there are a lot of different strategies people can take on, though I hear in Multiplayer they have banned a few units due to balance issues, hopefully they will work these out. I still lean towards the Protoss, but have yet to play some games in Multiplayer where I can really start getting used to them. Sounds like they did knock the units’ strengths down a bit, which is good. In the first game the Carriers were much too powerful and there were very little defense strategies others could use against them.
In my search to thirst my craving for more starcraft lore/story, I stumbled upon this gem: http://videogames.yahoo.com/events/plugged-in/10-best-starcraft-ii-easter-eggs/1407406 . Also gives details on how to unlock a secret level. I will definitely have to start a new campaign to unlock that!
Now I must recover since I have spent the past 5 days walled up in a room completely indulging in this game.
Posted 1 year, 8 months ago at 1:25 AM. 0 comments
I came into work today to find out one of my residents who I was pretty close to passed away suddenly. Funny that I actually cried and grieved so much more for this lady than I ever did for all of my great grandparents combined. She did make my work enjoyable and joked with me. I’ll miss her a lot. It’s weird that she was totally fine yesterday and I put her to bed and she had some stomach pain, but nothing more than that. I wish I could repeat that shift and talk to her more and tell her goodbye instead of complaining about another resident to her. It was hard to tell her roommate, who’s a bit confused, about her passing. She found out through a nosy resident and luckily I overheard the conversation and went over and broke the news to her a bit more smoothly. She took it better than I thought she would. We sat in her room and talked about her for a little while.
It’s hard getting close to people who are on their way out. I just gotta hope that I made them happier during their last days.
Posted 1 year, 9 months ago at 4:30 PM. 0 comments
Summmmmer! Is basically over… How sad! I barely got to do anything =/. Or maybe it’s that the weather never really got its head on straight so no one got to do anything. I just got back from camping and it was pretty fun hanging out with all of Marshall’s fam, but I am so ready to be home right now. I find it easy to go on vacations with my family, but when it comes to Marshall’s family, it’s just more difficult. It’s hard to be with people you don’t mesh with as easily for 4 days straight.
My car finally came back from the shop with a new clutch, and drives completely different. I definitely took it to about 86 on I-90 and the license is expired lol. I have to be a bit more cautious. Tomorrow, I’m hoping to license it if Marshall will leave this town early enough. Knowing him, we’ll probably be back in Seattle RIGHT when I need to leave for work. Awesome. That’s usually how it goes.
I’m stoked for football season. I bought my tickets a couple weeks ago, and the payment hasn’t shown up on my credit card yet, but I’m hoping it went through. Jake Locker + Sark = dream team. I can’t wait :) Mainly I’m just excited for the atmosphere.
Posted 1 year, 9 months ago at 10:44 AM. 0 comments
I cannot WAIT until Saturday! I’ve been working evening shift the past few days straight and Marshall has been getting up early and we’ve barely been able to see each other =/ Most time we spent together the past few days was this morning over breakfast, which was about 20 minutes. Seafair Saturday, even though it’ll be rainy (poo), I’ll have all day to relax and hang out with him, Amanda D, Frank +his new girlfriend (!!!), and Hannah! I’m super stoked. Also stoked to be done with this dumb Identity Journal that’s taking forever and a half + many hours of procrastination to finish. Almost done with classes until nursing school, wooo!
BTW, True Blood >>>> Twilight ever was. While the books of Twilight were good (and the movies speak for themselves), True Blood is a seriously intense vampire story. The show has brilliant acting and damn good storyline, with some fucked up shit happening that keeps you on the fence of WTF/That’s pretty sweet. It’s the True Blood for adults, and I am hella diggin it.
Also definitely thought Dexter started last Sunday, so was disappointed when I couldn’t find it, and realized I was looking at last year’s episode guide. D’oh! It starts around Sep. 19th. Darn.
Posted 1 year, 9 months ago at 1:41 AM. 0 comments
The Saltwater Room by Owl City
This song just makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, even though it’s a pre-relationship phase with doubts still floating around. It makes me think of Marshall and want to cuddle up or slow dance with him <3
“I opened my eyes
Last night
And saw you in the low light
Walking down the bay
On the shore
Staring up at the stars that aren’t there anymore
I was feeling the night grow old
And you were looking so cold
So like an introvert, I drew my overshirt
Around my arms and began to shiver violently before
You happened to look
And see
The tunnels all around me
Running into the dark underground
All the subways created great sound
To my motion fatigue: Farewell
With your ear to a seashell
You can hear the waves
In underwater caves
As if you actually were inside a saltwater room
Time together isn’t ever quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
Only time, only time
Can you believe that the crew has gone, and they wouldn’t let me sign on?
All my islands have sunk in the deep, and I can hardly relax or even oversleep
Would I feel warm with your hand in mine, when we walk along the shoreline?
I guess we’ll never know why sparrows love the snow
We’ll turn out all the lights and set this ballroom aglow
So tell me darling, do you wish we’d fall in love?
Yeah, all the time, all the time
Time together isn’t ever quite enough
When you and I are alone, I’ve never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
Only time, only time
When we’re apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling do you wish we’d fall in love?
All the time, all time”
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago at 2:35 PM. 1 comment
ARGHHHH! God damnit I am so poor+screwed+stressed right now. Mainly with money and all of it points to the new car that demands a shit ton of money next month when I license+insure it. And Marshall’s gift, an iPad, cost me quite a bit and I was late on my payment with my credit card, because of multiple things… $100 bill didn’t go through in the ATM and a UW check that was supposed to be automatically deposited a week before credit card was due didn’t happen (and STILL hasn’t, WTF!?!?!?). Also, since I’ve been watching my sisters every few days and working 32 hours the other 3 days I’m back in Seattle, I haven’t had any time for laundry or looking at the mail/bills which include a now late payment for electricity. Awesome. And I have two midterms between today and Wednesday to finish online, which I’ve only really studied for one class, the other one is way too demanding for how straight-forward the material is. Hello stress, go screw yourself.
Posted 1 year, 10 months ago at 9:40 PM. 0 comments
I’m back on the island off and on a lot this month watching my sisters while my parents are in France on vacation. I don’t know what it is about this place that really drives me crazy. I think it’s a combination of the trees completely surrounding the house killing all the light, the house just being too huge for comfort, the lack of a real city within 20 minutes of it, being away from Marshall and my life in Seattle, and probably the memories from high school (not bad ones, just an awkward transitional stage that I don’t want to return to). It is nice spending time with my sisters, though and watching True Blood on a nice tv :)
